PART I: SELF CONNECTION

THE GUIDE

MAIN ESSAY

Sex, Gender & Shame

RIPPLE EFFECT

Polarity At Play

HEALTHY M.O.

Surpassing Gender Sterotypes

THE PROCESS

Healing Sexual Trauma

SHIFT GEARS

Overcoming Sexual Shame & Addiction*

In the Eastern esoteric tradition, the Sacral Chakra is the energy center around the pelvis where we move past sheer survival mode to explore our capacity for self-expression and connection through our emotions, relationships, sensual and sexual being, as well as through our sense of pleasure, abundance and creativity. Such self-expression can be fluid, embodied and empowered.

But the Sacral Chakra can easily be one of the most wounded within us, destabilized by experiences like emotional abuse, sexual shaming and violence, birth trauma, infant circumcision and other invasive medical procedures.

Such primal boundary violations to our most intimate parts can create a split in our lives that recycles our pain in the form of dysfunctional relationships, addictions, and polarizing dynamics such as the extremes of lack and excess.

In society, such splitting can be seen in the excess of consumerism, hyper-sexualized expressions in the media and advertising, and the reinforcement of gender posturing, expectations and stereotypes.

5. SEX, GENDER & SHAME

Essay by Katarzyna Vedah. July 7, 2018

On the other side of the coin is sexual shaming, online harassment, public humiliation and other forms of individual and collective predation.

In terms of gender identity, sexual expression and intimate relationships, our wounds can run very deep. When we are consumed by our own personal pain, it can be easy to dismiss that of others, or to get stuck in blame, anger, deflection and aggressive self-defense.

By getting caught up in a Power-Over / Power-Under model of response, we may subconsciously re-enact our original trauma, and neither approach addresses the real issue.

Healing our personal sacral wounds can mean listening to ourselves, learning to grieve what we’ve lost, acknowledging unmet needs and reclaiming our right to our bodies, emotional expression, and sensual / sexual being. And healing the collective wound can mean coming to meet with the intention of hearing one another with an open heart and mind.

Whether we identify as male, female, gender neutral, or other, our lives are inter-connected and so is our pain.

To release the split thinking of Us vs Them means being open to the possibility that our lives are creative expressions of experience on a spectrum (not binary extremes). Let’s end the cycle of giving and receiving pain in our relationships and acknowledge that we need each other in this healing process.

VIDEO (YouTube): School of Life

Fear of Being Bad in Bed

Overcoming Sexual Shame

Sexual Non-Liberation

VIDEO (YouTube):

Kids Believe Gender Stereotypes (TIME)

Coleman on Rape Culture (Teen Vogue)

The Secret of Sexism (Nerdwriter1)

VIDEO (YouTube): TED Talk

The Price of Shame - Monica Lewinsky

Trying to be "Man Enough" - J. Baldoni

Meeting the Enemy - C. Jaye