THE GUIDE
5. SEXUALITY
MAIN ESSAY
RIPPLE EFFECT
HEALTHY M.O.
THE PROCESS
SHIFT GEARS
In the Eastern esoteric tradition, the Sacral Chakra is the energy center around the pelvis where we move past sheer survival mode to explore our capacity for self-expression and connection through our emotions, relationships, sensual and sexual being, as well as through our sense of pleasure, abundance and creativity. Such self-expression can be fluid, embodied and empowered.
But the Sacral Chakra can easily be one of the most wounded within us, destabilized by experiences like emotional abuse, sexual shaming and violence, birth trauma, infant circumcision and other invasive medical procedures.
Such primal boundary violations to our most intimate parts can create a split in our lives that recycles our pain in the form of dysfunctional relationships, addictions, and polarizing dynamics such as the extremes of lack and excess.
In society, such splitting can be seen in the excess of consumerism, hyper-sexualized expressions in the media and advertising, and the reinforcement of gender posturing, expectations and stereotypes.
5. SEX, GENDER & SHAME
Essay by Katarzyna Vedah. July 7, 2018
On the other side of the coin is sexual shaming, online harassment, public humiliation and other forms of individual and collective predation.
In terms of gender identity, sexual expression and intimate relationships, our wounds can run very deep. When we are consumed by our own personal pain, it can be easy to dismiss that of others, or to get stuck in blame, anger, deflection and aggressive self-defense.
By getting caught up in a Power-Over / Power-Under model of response, we may subconsciously re-enact our original trauma, and neither approach addresses the real issue.
Healing our personal sacral wounds can mean listening to ourselves, learning to grieve what we’ve lost, acknowledging unmet needs and reclaiming our right to our bodies, emotional expression, and sensual / sexual being. And healing the collective wound can mean coming to meet with the intention of hearing one another with an open heart and mind.
Whether we identify as male, female, gender neutral, or other, our lives are inter-connected and so is our pain.
To release the split thinking of Us vs Them means being open to the possibility that our lives are creative expressions of experience on a spectrum (not binary extremes). Let’s end the cycle of giving and receiving pain in our relationships and acknowledge that we need each other in this healing process.
VIDEO (YouTube): School of Life
VIDEO (YouTube):
Kids Believe Gender Stereotypes (TIME)
Coleman on Rape Culture (Teen Vogue)
The Secret of Sexism (Nerdwriter1)
VIDEO (YouTube): TED Talk
The Price of Shame - Monica Lewinsky
Trying to be "Man Enough" - J. Baldoni
ART-DOC SERIES: CBC Gem
DOCUMENTARY: Trigger Warning!
The Mask You Live In (J. S. Newsom)
#Female Pleasure (Barbara Miller)
The Red Pill (Cassie Jaye)
RIPPLE EFFECT
CREATIVE INSPIRATIONS TO ENGAGE THE CAPACITY TO FEEL
POLARITY
AT PLAY
FILM (YouTube): Trailer
Orlando (Sally Potter)
Hysteria (Tanya Wexler)
Battle of the Sexes (Faris & Dayton)
I am Not an Easy Man (Eléonore Pourriat)
Moonlight (Barry Jenkins)
SHORT FILM (YouTube): Ella Fields
Stereo - Reversed Gender Stereotypes
ARTIST / VIDEO (YouTube):
Robert Longo - Destroyer Cycle
WEBSITE: Tara McPherson
WEBSITE: Robert Longo
VIDEO (YouTube): Pop Culture Detective
Predatory Romance, Harrison Ford Movies
Sexual Assault of Men Played for Laughs
Last Jedi Defies Expectations, Male Heroes
HUMOR / VIDEO: College Humor
How Being in Public Feels (Men vs Women)
MUSIC / VIDEO (YouTube):
HEALTHY M.O.
HEALTHY MENTAL OUTLOOK & PSYCHOLOGICAL SUPPORT
SURPASSING GENDER STEREOTYPES
VIDEO (YouTube):
Gender Roles In Adult Life (BuzzFeed)
Gendered Marketing (The Checkout)
Gender Stratification (Crash Course)
Origin of Gender (Origin of Everything)
Cross-Dressing (Origin of Everything)
Gender Identity & Fluidity (BBC World)
Sex & Sexuality (Crash Course)
More than 2 Sexes (SciShow)
Growing Up Intersex (OWN)
DOCUMENTARY (Vimeo): Trigger Warning!
Liberated (Benjamin Nolot)
VIDEO (YouTube): Teal Swan
What Every Man Needs to Know About Women
Every Woman Needs to Know About Men
VIDEO (YouTube):
Men Need Meaning (The Guardian)
Robert Augustus Masters (Hart Centre)
To Be A Man (ManKind Project USA)
Healing the Wounded Masculine (Aaron Abke)
WEBSITE: ManKind Project
THE PROCESS
PRACTICAL REINFORCEMENT FOR SELF-CARE & DAY-TO-DAY LIVING
HEALING SEXUAL TRAUMA
VIDEO (YouTube): Adena Bank Lees
Covert Emotional Incest - What is it?
WEBSITE: Adena Bank Lees
WEB / ARTICLES:
The Quiet Wound. By Paul Dunion.
Childhood Covert Incest. By Robert Weiss.
BOOK: Kenneth M. Adams
Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners.
VIDEO (YouTube):
Trauma of Male Circumcision - PACE Hearing
Men's Hidden Circumcision Grief & Trauma
Male Sexual Assault Survivor (TED)
Men Talk about Their Abuse (TED)
WEB / ARTICLE: RAINN
VIDEO (YouTube): Peter A. Levine
Sexual Trauma: Healing the Sacred Wound
Child Sexual Abuse & Relational Trauma
AUDIO PROGRAM: Sounds True
SHIFT GEARS
EXPANDING PERSPECTIVES, AWARENESS & CONSCIOUSNESS
OVERCOMING SEXUAL SHAME & ADDICTION*
VIDEO (YouTube): TED Talk
Owning Your Sexual Power -A.J. Goddard
Shame, Sex & Silence - F. Harper
Sex, Shame, Manifestation - A. Thurston
Moving Beyond Sexual Shame - M. Ronda
The Great Porn Experiment – G. Wilson
WEB / ARTICLE: By Matt Morrissey
How Early Porn Exposure Traumatizes Boys and Fuels Toxic Masculinity
VIDEO (YouTube):
Cause of Porn Addiction (Gold Jacket Luke)
Overcoming Porn (Man Talks)
DOCU-SERIES: Brain, Heart, World
WEBSITE: Fight the New Drug
WEBSITE: Fortify – Quit Porn for Good
WEBSITE: Dr. Patrick Carnes
BOOK: Out of the Shadows. Patrick Carnes
VIDEOS (YouTube): Teal Swan
Secret Behind All Sexual Fetishes
How To Overcome Porn Addiction
Overcome Your Fear of Intimacy
How to Open Your Sacral Chakra
VIDEOS (YouTube): Christina Lopes
How To Heal Your SEXUAL ENERGY!
* Mature Content